


Dead... Pool?

by Romance_My_Chemical



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: All of them are, BAMF Harley Keener, Bisexual Disasters, Cute Miles Morales, F/F, F/M, Harley Keener as Iron Lad, M/M, Other, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Harry Osborn, Short, Sorry Not Sorry, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, also, deadpool and iron lad are the same, deadpool is a lot more tame in this, i just hate the name iron lad oop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22619836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romance_My_Chemical/pseuds/Romance_My_Chemical
Summary: Peter doesn't know what to think about the new masked vigilante with an accent and attitude that insists to patrol with him every night.What he does know, though, is that the accent is to die for, and there's a new kid at school who has the same exact accent.Peter knows that it could be just a coincidence, but there's also no way this is a coincidence.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark & Stephen Strange, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Harry Osborn/Flash Thompson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pietro Maximoff/Scott Summers, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 11
Kudos: 110





	1. Prologue

He showed up on a Monday. 

They were sitting in class when he had sauntered in, dressed in flannel and jeans filled with holes. 

Peter only noticed that he had walked in after the whole class had gone completely silent, which was not a feat accomplished by the sub, so obviously Peter looked up. 

And then immediately looked back because of the eye contact that was caused by the boy staring at him. 

And then immediately blushed a color that rivaled the one the fabric of his suit was made of. 

When he finally looked back up, the boy was still staring him, but he also had a smirk on his amazingly hot face. 

His attention was diverted when the sub sighed tiredly, his head falling down onto the desk, startling MJ from her book, and waking Ned from his nap. 

"And what's your name?" the sub spoke from his position. 

The boy grinned, before speaking.

"My name's Harley. Nice to meet y'all."


	2. ch. one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter officially hates his friends and not even his best friend is any help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, these are going to be shorter chapters because of it being a short fic. this is a self-indulgent thing that I was like, hey, why not? if you want longer chapters, I love to make them longer, but this is kind of to get my writing back, because I've been in a block for a while.

Peter doesn't see his friends again after the incident until his fifth period AP chem class. Luckily, he doesn't see Harley either. 

It's one of the few classes that the teacher doesn't assign seats, but they're the only ones in there anyway, so it doesn't matter. It also helps that there happens to be a sub in this class too. 

The sound of his backpack falling onto the table interrupts his friends' conversations and causes the woman sitting at the desk to glance up from her phone. Peter gives her a sheepish smile, and she looks back down. 

"What's up with you?" Flash asks as he looks up from his phone. 

MJ doesn't even bother to look up from her sketchbook. "Oh, haven't you heard?" 

Peter glares at her and slumps down into his seat beside Ned. 

Harry blows a bubble that would be quite impressive if he isn't in such a bad mood. 

"No, what?" He asks. Harry also doesn't bother to look up from his phone, most likely texting Flash even though they're sitting as close as they possibly can. 

"There's a new kid," MJ says. Her voice is almost flat, but they've been around each other long enough that he knows she's very amused by the situation. 

"There are new kids all the time," Ned reminds her. He's the only one with his full attention on Peter. 

And the others wonder why he likes him the best. 

MJ finally looks up from her sketch, which Peter can now see is his face. She smirks at him but then looks at the others. 

"This one has an accent." She says it like it's the biggest reveal of the century.

It may honestly be because every single one of his friends knows how much of a simp he is with any guy who has an accent. 

Harry included. 

"He's from Tennessee," Peter says, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. 

Harry looks up next. "And how do you know that?" 

His French accent -- acquired from six years at a private school in France -- comes out stronger every time they talk about his fascination with accents like he's trying to make Peter go for him. He fucking hates Harry for it. 

"Because he decided to sit next to me instead of literally anywhere else." Peter isn't ashamed to admit that he's pouting, but his friends are used to it at this point. 

Flash chuckles nervously. "Good, cause my next thought was gonna be that you're stalking him." 

"You're one to talk," MJ says. 

She's, of course, referencing when Spider-Man first came out to the public and how Flash stalked Peter's alter ego for around three months before he had found out who he was. 

"I thought we weren't going to mention that ever again," Flash whines, sinking in his chair. 

MJ holds up her hands in a surrender position. "Hey, you were the one with an unhealthy obsession with Peter." 

Harry pops another bubble. "Everyone is obsessed with Peter," he says, continuing to type away. 

Peter feels his face heat up and a counter-argument is on the tip of his tongue when the door opens. 

They all look up, but it's Harry who says something when they see who's standing in the doorway. 

"Merde alors." 

And Peter can't agree more.


	3. ch. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang meets Harley and he is definitely more than they expected. not that they expected much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the comments and kudos! I'm thinking of turning this story into a series (with short chapters still). what do y'all think?

"Jésus putain de Christ, Parker. Why do you always attract this kind of trouble?" 

Peter briefly glares at them before his eyes return to the insanely hot boy at the front of the classroom. 

He's talking to the sub and despite Peter's excellent hearing, he can only hear some of the words they're saying. 

Most of his friends speak French, while all of them understand it, so he decides to speak to them in the language. 

"Je peux à peine les entendre ", he says, "ils sont vraiment calme pour une raison quelconque."

He decides to be quiet as well, in case the guy knows French for some random reason. 

MJ raises an eyebrow at him but responds in French anyway. "Peut-être qu’il ne veut pas être entendu."

"Il ne sait pas pour ma audition. Ça n’a pas de sens."

Harry finally looks up from his phone and rolls his eyes at them. "Ce n’est pas comme s’il parlait autant de toute façon, mec. Arrête de t’inquiéter."

"Exactement. Et arrête d’écraser le mec. Il n’est même pas si sexy," MJ says as she leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. 

Peter stares at them for a short while, trying desperately to kill them with his gaze. 

"Il est si sexy, et tu le sais," he says, pointing a finger at her, "et tu es gay, donc ce n’est pas comme tu le sauras de toute façon."

"Why, thank you, darling." 

The sudden voice behind hum sends him to the floor, startling him in a way he hasn't been since he was bit by the spider. 

MJ begins to laugh at him, loud snorts filling the room. 

Peter glares up at her as he gets out off the floor and stands to brush himself off. 

"You know French," Harry says, his attention fully on Harley. It's an accomplishment in itself and Harley doesn't know how great a feat he just pulled. 

"And Spanish, Italian, and German," the blond responds. "When you live in the smallest town in the country and your school only offers regular level classes, you take what you can get."

"Interesting," Harry basically purrs as he leans onto his hand where his elbow is propped on the table. 

Peter and Flash both glare at him, and Harry only smirks. 

"I guess," Harley shrugs. "I bet you all know more languages, being in a city that's diverse as it is." 

Harry winks at Peter, and Peter only hardens his glare. 

"You'd be correct, Harley. I myself learned from travel, so I know French, Italian, Korean, Portuguese, and Spanish. MJ here can read Mandarin and knows Spanish and French. I think Flash here knows Spanish and Italian, and I think also knows Armenian," at Flash's nod, he continues. "Ned I think only knows Spanish and some Italian, but he's the best hacker I know, so he can basically speak in binary code." 

Peter realises too late what Harry is trying to do, and there's no way he can stop him now. 

Harry gives him another wink for his troubles. 

"Peter here is a genius. He knows Spanish, Italian, French, German, Russian, both Irish and Scottish Gaelic, Greek, Latin, Romanian, and Dutch. Is there anything I'm missing Peter?" 

Harley turns his eyes to him, and Peter can feel his face burn. 

"I'm also learning Norwegian," he says weakly.

Whistling, Harley leans back in the seat he seems to have sat in during Harry's little rant. 

"Damn, I don't think there's a single language else that you could learn." 

Peter's blush burns his face even more. "Well, the apartment complex I live in has all these people living there, and most of them don't speak English, so I kind of picked it up from them," he explains hastily. "The only languages I chose to learn are Norwegian and Scottish Gaelic." 

Harley raises an eyebrow. "Not Irish Gaelic?" 

He rubs the back of his neck. "Steve taught me that one." 

"Okay," Harley says, dragging out the vowels. "That's extremely impressive." 

"Told you so," Harry says in this cocky tone he gets whenever talking about one of their friends. 

"Also, Shuri agreed to teach him Xhosa," MJ adds. 

"Well, colour me impressed," Harley says. 

Peter shrugs. "So, what are you here to study?" 

Harley grins and leans forward. "Mechanical engineering." 

"That's so cool!" Ned interjects. "I mainly study coding, but I have to take mechanical engineering as well!" 

"Sure," Harley shrugs. "I've been studying it all my life, so when Tony Stark offered me a scholarship, of course, I said yes."

They all glance at each other. 

"I study biochemical engineering-" Peter quickly adds, "-with a focus in chemistry." 

"That must be hard," Harley says. 

"It's not, really," Peter murmurs. 

Harry rolls his eyes. "It is hard, he's just a genius and can therefore do anything he wants to," he explains. "I was studying business in France so I could take over my dad's company, but now I'm studying biochemical engineering with Peter." 

"And I'm studying business," MJ says simply.

Harley nods. "That's cool. So, how do you all know Tony Stark?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my French isn't perfect! please correct me if I'm wrong!


End file.
